The first bad note of the child is a difficult time for you as a parent, but it can be even more difficult for your little one who may think he has disappointed you. Find out what is the most constructive way to talk with the child about the first bad note.
Poor grades or bad grades can have different effects on children. Some may be very disappointed, while others are completely selfless.
It is important not to react immediately when your little one tells you about the unsatisfactory result. Ask him for more details and ask him first how he feels.
Your reaction and its consequences
The parents' reaction is important for the child, who seeks validation from the adults around him. The more negative your reaction, the higher the chance that the grade or rating will be a reason for shame for the child. However, this is not a good motivation to learn better next time.
Avoid ridiculing your little one for failure. This first disappointment is a sensitive moment, when the child can develop resentment towards the parents. It is perfectly normal to be worried as a parent about your little one's education, but the reproaches and quarrel do not improve the situation at all.
Approach the situation calmly and ask him how he feels, before giving him your point of view. For many parents it can be difficult to separate their own life from that of the child and risk projecting their personal fears on the first educational disappointment.
Your child's explanation
Listen carefully to your little boy's explanation. It may contain important details about what you can do to help. Often children feel that their outlook is not important.
If your little one feels wronged by the teacher or teacher, do not automatically defend him / her. Try to maintain your objectivity and not start an attack on either the child or the teacher who gave him the wrong grade.
When you make him feel ashamed of failure, your little one will be more closed to communication with you. Your chances of finding out if there really is a problem decrease.
Children who have real learning problems can be very hurt by your reaction and thus become less receptive to any solution to their problem. Ultimatums and threats do not take place in the discussion of the first bad note and are an almost sure way to close the communication with the little one.
Are you a realistic parent?
A realistic parent accepts the potential of the child, after he has excluded the hypothesis of a serious problem that prevents him from achieving satisfactory results at school.
You can encourage him to learn more and better, but classic tactics can create resentment on the part of the child. If bad grades continue to appear, you need to have a discussion with the teacher.
Depending on what you find out, you can take steps to make sure your little one is doing his homework on time or you can offer him a mediator to help him with the subjects where he doesn't excel.
The claims of a parent who wants his or her child to excel in all matters are unrealistic for most children and can cause long-term emotional conflict and harm.
What can you do to help him?
When you notice that your little one is having trouble learning, it is important to schedule a meeting with the school psychologist or seek a specialist yourself to consult. Some learning problems occur only after primary school and there are therapies with beneficial effects.
When you know that your little one has no disability that prevents him from achieving good school results, it's time to help him as a responsible parent.
Teach him to organize his time and check his homework. A meditator can be helpful, but the child will respond better to your initiative, giving you a good example.
It is important to resist the temptation to help him too much with homework. It is not recommended that you do them for him or give him the answer directly when you are bored.
Don't let the first bad note turn into a drama. Take this opportunity to get more involved in your child's education and to help him find the areas in which he excels.
Tags School Education Topics Discussion parents parents School children