Being a mother of a teenager differs greatly from the time when your child was a baby. The rules also change the relationships. Many specialists argue that in adolescence the role of the mother diminishes, being taken over by the father in terms of discipline and the education of the child.
Relationships between parent and child change
It seems that the relationship between the mother and the adolescent child is in a continuous cooling as the child gets older. Adolescents become more autonomous, responsible, more self-controlled and have interests that may contradict the conceptions of mothers.
The connection between mother and adolescent can be either very close, or extremely cold and indifferent. If you do not have a close relationship with your child, knowing that what can help you change the situation is communication. It is extremely important at this age, but sometimes the typical changes of adolescent age can interfere with the specific interactions and discussions between parents and children.
Communication opportunities start to disappear as the child becomes more interested in spending time as alone as possible, with friends or with a boyfriend or girlfriend. If during the early childhood the discussions took place around toys, schools, etc., in adolescence, their center moves to the level of friends, family and colleagues.
There are a number of new rules that you must take into account in the disciplinary and educational approach of the child. You are no longer dealing with the small child whose diaper was changing or you were giving it a spoon. From now on you speak from other positions and it is your turn to respect his rights, even if he is still a minor.
• respect the intimacy of the adolescent;
• be an example to him in everything he does;
• encourage and support him always;
• offer them advice, justifying their usefulness by calling on examples;
• treat him as a responsible young adult (show him that you trust him and see him as a "big kid" by giving him various tasks and complex tasks to do);
• earn her trust (keep her secrets firmly and show her that she can trust you);
• maintain eye contact with him when you talk to him and do nothing in the meantime;
• pay all your attention;
• talks with him about all kinds of taboo things or not - from sexual issues, to politics, death, drugs, suicide, etc.
Communication is the secret of any successful relationship between mother and teenager, be it boys or girls. On the other hand, it is important to know how to listen to the adolescent. For this you have to show a lot of patience and pay attention whenever he needs you. Only in this way will you strengthen your relationship with it. In addition, in this way you teach him by example and he will learn that he, in turn, must know how to listen to you.
It is essential to gain their trust
Adolescents tend to get into all sorts of bugs and get easily influenced. As long as he trusts you and knows that he can come and tell you absolutely everything he thinks and goes through, you will help him overcome problems and be safe. But if you do not prove yourself to be a good confidant, he will solve his problems in his own style and call on someone else, who may be unfit to give advice and help.
You always hear left and right "I'm my child's best friend", especially when it comes to teenagers. But this is not the goal you have to target as a parent and to promote it in the relationship with the young child. You need to continue to be a parent to him, to know that you are an authority and that you have the last say in what concerns him.
You respect his rights and choices, but if there are reasons to believe that what he does is jeopardizing his health or integrity, you must listen to him and make sure he knows you are talking seriously, not "as between friends." You need to be a parent to him in trying to protect him and to teach him to make the difference between good and bad.
Also, do not forget to tell him every day how much you love him, praise him for his achievements and encourage him when he is wrong or impotent. As long as you are close to him, body and soul, he will become a responsible and powerful adult and a happy and fulfilled person.
Tags Parenting relationship Teenage parenting relationship Childcare Teenage sex Discussions about sex