The acquisition of independence is a complex and long process, but one that must be initiated since the child is very young. Encouraging individual activities, helping the child set goals and using their skills to get out of various situations helps the child to be independent and responsible. Communication is essential in the process of accountability and maturation. However, how do you explain to your child what independence is?
Gaining independence from children, how and when?
Independence is gradually acquired with much perseverance on your part. Even if it is hard to believe, the little ones begin to express their desire to be autonomous even before 6 months. But at this age they do not know what she is and how she will help them in the future. Of course, as independence grows, it begins to make its presence felt in stages.
From the bush walk, to the first steps and to the development of the language and the appearance of the famous hysteria crises or attacks of anger, the desire for independence will be fully felt. And it is natural to be so! It is up to the parents how they control and fructify these reactions to help and encourage them to become independent! It is important that parents do not stand in the way of its acquisition, as in many cases.
To do this, you must know that you have to leave the child from time to time, make your own decisions, even make mistakes, put him "to work" and know to say from time to time "NO" in front of wishes. his instability. Young children learn to take care of themselves and to satisfy their needs through experience and practice. Often, parents fall into the trap where they think it is necessary to do different things instead of the little one, either because they have the impression that the little one does not understand and is not able to do it, or because they save time and nerves.
However, the time - even if sometimes too much - spent with the little ones in order to learn the various household activities in the child and to help him take care of him (to wash, to dress alone, etc.) is maximized and their results will be maximized. be felt in time. Most children are highly motivated to grow up as quickly as possible and will strive to do everything to gain autonomy.
How do you talk to your little one about independence?
Talk to your little one about the importance of being independent as you grow, using examples. In addition, you must use a vocabulary adapted to his age. For example, when you teach your child how to dress alone, explain to them each time why it is important to learn to do so. He does not have to understand that it is an obligation or that it is a fool of yours to teach him to do this. Tell him about how in time he will get to dress alone, choose his wardrobe alone and how this will help him to maturity. Tell him it's important to know this for when mom or dad are not at home or around him.
Of course, the whole discussion about independence must be gradual and developed over time. Children must grow, mature and gain independence under your protection. Sooner or later, you will have to let go of the overprotective protection and allow yourself to do it alone.
If you do not help him when he is small to cope alone in some situations, you will raise a child who will become an immature adult, unable to cope alone, a maladaptive to the real life that surrounds him, the kind of person he holds himself to. mother's skirt and who can not make decisions for him. You cannot take the DEX from the library and begin to attach its multiple definitions of the term "independence". After all, you are not in a class for students or students! But communication is essential!
This should be done with your child under certain parameters to help him become autonomous:
- let him have his own ideas and opinions;
- to give them the chance to support them;
- always encourage him to talk (whenever you have the opportunity, about any kind of topics);
- from time to time ask for his advice or expectation and wait for the answer (implement in routine activities these little toys - for example, ask him if he wants to wear his shirt or shirt that day or if he wants to squeeze in the red or green bowl;
- however small and unimportant they seem to us, so much so that it helps them develop into responsible and mature people;
- listen to him every time he has something to say and answer him as much as you can to the questions he asks, as much as he understands;
- involves the little one in family decisions - when it comes to vacations, shopping, etc. - let him also say his opinion and make sure he is listened to and that they will take his ideas into consideration.
By involving him in domestic activities, by learning to dress alone, to wash and to eat without help or to make decisions regarding courses and sports to be enrolled, you test his ability to be independent and help him to acquire it and understand it over time.
Tags Independent independence of children Independent development of children Communication of children Parent-child relationship Attention development activities Independent activities of children